L14 - Finding our name

3/20/2014 - Daily Readings

What's in a name? I can't imagine living in a world where people do not have names. Having a name means to have an identity, to be 'one rather than another.' I read the pope's homily today and he pointed out that the rich man did not have a name. He lost it.

This thought allowed me to enter a bit deeper into our reality as human and I noticed how easily we trade our names for another identifier. "Hey, did you hear about Mary? Mary, who? Mary who has the new red coat." We also apply this to ourselves. If I consider my image of being funny, or smart or whatever, I do whatever it takes so that people identify me as funny, smart or whatever.

We get lost easily; and just as easily we trade our identifier. After a while we grow confused in a world that identifies us in so many ways and we don't know who we are. How can we hear God calling us, He who always calls us by name, if we don't remeber our name anymore."

The rich man in the parable had lost his name; he remained too focused on his role and his possessions. Even in the after life, he couldn't stop being in "charge" of others, telling other people what to do.

Names also have meanings. Lazarus means "God is my help." Certianly, if we read the parable from the point of view of Lazarus we can certainly say that it doesn't look like God was really helping him. But he is not the main character. God was trying to help the Rich Man.

When we help 'Lazarus', God helps us to be who we are. Every time we focus on someone other than ourselves we become truly ourselves. When we trust in ourselves only, we are not a blessing but a curse; by helping others, we become a blessing because we let God help us.

Out there there are many Lazarus who are waiting for me to love them so that I can be myself. I want God to help me and now I know how.

Lazarus: wait for me! I am coming!

L14: Reorienting By Asking for others

3/13/2014 - Daily Readings

Today, we celebrate the first year of Pope Francis' pontificate. There are articles and photos of him everywhere. I really do not remember if the press dedicated so much space to the first year anniversary of Pope Benedict. I keep asking myself: why all this attention to him? Whenever I speak about Pope Francis, I always seem to have a bittersweet taste in my mouth: it seems that as I highlight what he is doing, I may give the impression that I think that Pope Benedict didn't do that. Which is not true. Each has his own gift. But still...

I believe the attention given to pope Francis comes from something that is special to him (and, again, I am not saying that Pope Benedict or any other pope doesn't have it!). It is evident that he is gounded in the Love of God and this love "goes out" to everyone. And I mean, everyone. He's warm and affectionate, humble and meek. All these things give us an glimpse of who God is. Somehow I recognize in his attitude something that is of God.

Because only Love is credible, many people are looking at God again because they feel loved by pope Francis. Indeed, we don't believe in God after we read a book about Him. We really convert when we experience God as Love. Jesus gives us a nice snapshot about God who, as a good father, gives us all that is good. God is all-giving to the point that He gave us Himself. This is the heart of the Good News: God loves us immensely

How can I enter into this day, living the Word ? The text of the Gospel focuses on prayer: Jesus says we can ask. But why is it that we don't seem to receive as much as we ask? Because God has not said that He would give us everything we want but only what is good for us. Therefore, this is what I want to do today: forget about myself and ask for others. "Do to others" and forget they should do the same to me. Love without thinking about being loved back. This is how God loves and this is what I want to do today. I trust that someone will be praying for me, and even if nobody did, God knows what I need. I must trust in the power of prayer.

What a wonderful way to celebrate the pope's anniversary: being more like him.

L14: Reoriented by Greatness

3/12/2014 - Daily Readings. 

I continue my Journey and continue to grow in the desire to be re-oriented by God towards Easter. It is here that I can find my true identity as a child of God. I wonder: how is it that I get distracted? why do I look elsewhere to find myself? After meditating on the story of the Temptations of Jesus, I know that it is the Devil's job to distract us as he continues to whisper into our soul's ears that we can become God without God, Christians without Christ or the Church. He continues to make God look unattractive and we, without even thinking, move our gaze away from Him. The solution? Do what Jesus did: remain grounded in the Word of God.

But this holy season helps us to acknowledge our weaknesses and, because of His great Love, we can start again. What steps can I take today? How can I remain grounded in the Truth that will allow me to identify the serpent's trick?

Jesus gives me the answer: "There is something greater here." As humans we are attracted to greatness, to "great" things. And this attraction shapes our behavior, too. Jesus is using his human characteristics to make Himself attractive. I noticed that Jesus is saying this as matter of fact; it is not a command or one of his "conditionals." He is who he is... How do I react? Do I want to see Him as 'greater'? Or do I prefer that He be happy with what I can give Him, while I want all He can give me?

I want to repeat these words today, throughout the day: "There is something greater here." I want to say them when I am stuck in traffic, or at the red light, or behind a particularly slow person at the check-out line or wherever I may be. I want to become aware that everything and everyone is a reflection of Christ's presence in the world and I do not want to miss Him. I want to be attracted to His Greatness as a needle is attracted by a magnet - docile to the call and faithful.

There is something greater here - Jesus living in our midst, behind everyone I encounter. I can't wait to encounter Him today.

L14 - Reorienting ourselves towards Easter through Relationships

3/11/2014 - Daily Reading

Another opportunity to take a step forward in our Lenten Journey. God wants us to re-orient us towards Easter because it is here that we find our own identity. This process of re-orientation seems to take place in us as we look at our relationships: with ourselves (fasting), with others (almsgiving) and with God (Prayer).

The Gospel today  highlights these aspects. Jesus talks about prayer. It begins with a shocking statement: when you pray, do not babble. It took me years to identify this horrible way of praying. And it took a lot of courage and strength to eliminate empty words from my prayer. I always had the impression that I had to do all the talking and I had to make sure God knew what He was supposed to do for me. And so I spent minutes after minutes babbling.... How many moments of prayer wasted with only words: rosaries said without thinking, sacraments celebrated as routine... thank goodness that I learned how damaging useless words can be. I am not completely over, I still fall into the temptation of filling my prayer time with words... but I am getting better. So much better.

Prayer teaches me about relationships. The Our Father is a prayer that immediately challenges me to look at my relationships. "Our" is the context of the prayer. Immediately I become aware that I do not pray alone. I am with many, and as one Body we dare to call God Father. I pray with others who have come before me as believers, with others who are praying with me, and with those whom will follow. I pray for others, those who lived long ago, live with me and those who will be born tomorrow.

If I do not take care of my relationships I cannot truly say "Our." I have to make sure I grow in Love for everyone so that this prayer will become more truthful.

"Father." This is the word that clearly seems to identify God's identity. Abba, father. How do I relate to Him? Do I prefer Him to be a "magical" God who will do what I say? Or, am I willing to call Him Father and begin to relate to Him as His child.

I want to pray today using only these two words. I don't want to babble but I want to be open to a new way of living Lent - through relationships. At the end of the day, all the people I have encountered and loved will be included in my prayer, in my "our." And it will be a true celebration!

L14: 'Getting Lost' by choice

March 6, 2014 - Daily Readings

Another step forward today. The Word speaks clearly again: "If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." This is one of those 'conditionals' that really bother me: It's up to me. Christianity is a free response to a Love that is freely given.

These are demands that I cannot ignore. I struggle with demands in general but I understand why they are there. Today I must ask myself, 'Do I want to make this lenten Journey or am I doing it just because it's Lent.?" Maybe I am afraid to ask myself if I really want to be a (real) Christian or am I settling with who I am now?

"Deny." What an ugly word! It means that something that is to be believed to be true is now understood as not to be true. Isn't this the ugliest reality that the Gospel highlights constantly - the truth we believe about ourselves is not true, or at the least is not the whole truth. How much energy is spent to defend this image that we have created about ourselves. We are convinced that if we become what we imagine we will be happy. And yet... day after day, we realize that this is the very cause of all suffering we experience. I must deny this truth I created about myself. but how?

I know a lot of people who deny themselves a lot of things because they want to achieve the goals they have. Athletes deny themselves free time in order to practice their sport; others deny themselves some type of food because they want to be healthy. Then, denial only sounds like an ugly word but it highlights, instead, what matters to us the most. Then, if I value Christ and the Christian life, why is it that denial sounds like ... too much?

Deny myself. Let go of the false image of my self that I have created this past year. How do I do it? By picking up the Cross. Here's the "key." It's an invitation to accept who I am truly: picking up all the suffering, the sinfulness and the ugliness of my life as He did. Finding value in my own brokenness and in that of others.

"And follow me." The Cross-picking is not an isolated practice. It is done because, as we follow Him who leads us to Good Friday and Easter, we know He can change everything into a wonderful reality: The Resurrection Life. It's a life of transformation that gives me a new identity, a new self that as only when I follow Him as He wants me to.

Jesus also speaks of losing one's life in order to find it. How ironic. Then, I need to get lost today. I need to find ways of getting rid of my old self, the one that wants to run through a red light, pouts if someone does not agree with me, rolls his eyes if someone gives me attitude. I will lose myself, picking up the Cross, in order to find Jesus in them and doing whatever it takes to follow Him.

This is my choice, the way I answer to His "If..." I want to get lost today. I will be found by Him. And that's worth everything!!!!

Lent '14: Ashes on my hands

Ash Wednesday. 3/5/2014 - Daily Readings

Once again we begin Lent; once again we receive ashes. This morning at Mass, after I gave the Ashes, I noticed that I had a lot of ashes left on my hands. As I washed them off, I became aware that once again I longed to enter into this season and make the most out of it in order to be re-oriented again. Life has a way of making us live mindlessly. Lent gives me a chance to recollect myself and become more aware, more mindful. I continue to follow Jesus and I want to follow Him as a “repented” disciple. 

Lent, then, cannot be reduced to a season of “giving things up.” I am becoming more and more suspicious of this practice. It sounds like it has an end in itself. What’s the purpose of giving something up? The Gospel doesn’t speak of this. It calls to fasting, to alms giving and to prayer. I want to do the same.

These practices, like all other practices, are forms of asceticism; I know they want to teach me something important: how to be more myself, how to be more human. 

Fasting calls me to be more aware of myself, to awaken to my own sinfulness and conscience, to break down the chain that holds me down and makes it difficult for me to move towards others. Alms giving makes me available to the other, whoever this may be, and allow me to move beyond the fences I build with my own ideas, opinion and self-righteousness. Prayer allows me to be open to God and consider Him as Other, making me aware of my total dependence on Him and Him alone. 

Lent is a serious season but it doesn’t have to be a sad one. All these practices can renew in me enthusiasm and renewal of my desire to walk more authentically with God and be united with Him, together with all those who, like me, become aware of their own sinfulness and live their lives as beloved children of God.

The entrance into this season is regulated by a refrain: “Your Father… will repay you.” I know that my Lenten Journey is not trodden in vain; the practices do not have an end in themselves. The Father knows. And this can be a bit tricky. God seems to be sensitive about these things: He wants to be the only one who sees them. Once I “show off” He says “you got your reward already.” I need to make sure that this becomes fixed in my mind. I want to journey for Him, to make His heart rejoice. 

I enter Lent with an attitude. The first reading helps me to understand the proper one. At the time of Joel,  Locusts have destroyed everything and now people were wondering: where is God? They had nothing else to offer Him, as they could not celebrate the sacrifices. The ‘God of Plenty’ had withdrawn, now the people's offering comes not from the first fruits of the earth but from the contrite heart of the people. Yes, like them I am also without “fruits” to offer. Lent is the time when I become aware of my contrite heart, my awareness of limitations and shortcomings that, when offered to God, can even become gifts to others. Since my limitations are always with me, I know that I can always find the God of Mercy near me!

Lent is a time that requires an immediate answer. I hear the voice of God calling me to turn my heart “TODAY.” It’s amazing how quickly I develop a sense of “recent future.” I know I have to respond to the Gospel but I find myself to be too busy "now," and so I say “may be after Easter,” or “this summer,” or “certainly next Lent.” It’s never a far distant future, but a future that is so close… and, yet.. it never becomes a present reality. Not this year. Contrition must be offered now, because today is the day God is calling me to experience salvation anew. 

What do these ashes mean? They come from something that has been burned. Usually they come from palms. But I want to enter more deeply into this symbol. What does it mean to receive these ashes?

Perhaps they come from pride that needs to be burned and transformed into humility towards others, considering them as a gift to me. Maybe it’s the time I waste that needs to be burned in order to make room for time spent –  even wasted? – with others and with God. Or they can even be the mark on my hand when I offer it to others not to serve and help them in their needs but somehow to “use” them to satisfy mine. I have ashes on my hand when I treat relationships coldly, taking for granted the people that God has given me. 

What to do? I have to start ‘fasting’ from all things that keep me away from God and others and turn everything into a gift to others. I can fast from judging others knowing that Christ lives in them. I can fast from the sarcastic remarks I make in order to offer healing words; I can fast from complaining when things do not go my way and be grateful that they went some other way. I can certainly fast from whining about the aches and pains of life and develop an attitude of awe and appreciation for life. 

I am ready to begin Lent. This year, I want to find ashes on my hands – all the things I have to burn in order to let my contrite heart become a Tabernacle, a new way for God to be present in our midst.

Lent is way more than “giving up things.” I am giving up “myself.” And in return, I get the heart of Jesus. What a Journey this will be!