We are challenged by the Gospel to invited Jesus into the Temple of our body as together we continue to "clean it up," by removing all the things that we tolerate, things that ought ot to be there.
Today we hear the prophet Daniel say "deal with us in your kindness and great mercy." It's important that we always start by keeping in mind that God loves us immensely and that He has our well-being in mind. Because of His great love and mercy towards us, we can grow into a person who can reflect this Love to others.
What to do? We hear Jesus talks about forgiveness and He invites us to handle our hurts and our negative experiences well: there are certain people that we could forgive easily, there are other people who have hurt us so much that forgiveness is almost unthinkable.
Why do we find forgiveness so hard? This is a very common issue that comes up in many ways in my ministry: from spiritual direction to confession - we know we must forgive but at times we simply can't. I don't think this inability comes from the fact that we are bad people; I think it's due to the fact that we may not understand forgiveness properly.
Forgiveness is something that we do to ourselves more than to another. It's a form of release that allows us to move forward again. When we are hurt we create an emotional freeze point in our lives. It's like being stuck in the past; the rest of our lives continues to be lived but there is a part of us that is still dwelling on the event that happened in the past.
We find it hard to forgive for several reasons and among them, in my opinion, the top ones are: if I forgive the person who hurt me, then I am saying that what I feel is not important; if I forgive the person who hurt me, then I am saying that whatever that person did is something it's ok to do again. We hold on, therefore, onto the feeling because we want to hurt the other person: we withdraw our friendship, for example, thinking that this will hurt them (then we may even get mad because we realize that the person is going about life and doesn't not even miss us). It's a spiral that never ends, and we know that it can even lead to violence.
To forgive, again, means that I acknowledge the hurt that has been done to me, I acknowledge that what has been done to me was wrong and should not be done by anyone (including us) for any reason whatsoever. To forgive does not mean that I ignore what happened but I take charge and decide to stop the cycle of violence done against me and release the bond - I let go and choose to live life as a whole. It's realizing that holding a grudge, ignoring someone, or even being nasty by thrashing the person does not bring me to healing or to move forward but it cements my staying in the past, in the original "freeze point." Forgiveness allows us to let go, it empowers us to take hold of the situation and turn it around so that we can move forward again. It takes time, but it can be done.
According to the Gospel, this process of forgiveness must be repeated constantly, without keeping track and without prejudice. It's an invitation to live a life in a constant state of freedom which I constantly give to myself and to those who hurt me. In the eyes of the world, this process cannot be accepted because it seems to diminish the person who has been hurt. But if we look closely, revenge and divisions (the obvious result of a life lived by holding on to the hurt we have received) do not generate healthier lifestyle and those who hold grudges aren't happier than those who don't.
Then, we are faced with a choice: how am I going to live my life? Before we respond, let's take a look at the issue from the other direction. IF we tell ourselves the truth, we would acknowledge the fact that we have also hurt some people and, among them, God. It may have not been our primary intention to do that but in the end we have hurt someone. We could choose to ignore the event and claim that "it's not my fault," but we know that we are the cause of the hurt. We know what to do: we must ask for forgiveness. Being forgiven is just as liberating as forgiving. We want God to forgive us so that His grace may continue to work in us. We want others to forgive us because we are sorry. to be forgiven allows us to be whole.
If forgiveness is what we want, forgiveness is what we must give. No exceptions.
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